One night, Ani had a dream. He was lost in a place that seemed foreign to him, where everything that was there he had never seen. “Anyway, it’s a dark place, and there’s a lot of stuff hanging.” What Ani meant was a penis, or in more polite language and so as not to be blocked by healthy internet, it is called a phallus. “The sizes are different, some are small, some are really big! The shape is also different.”
“Ah, but it was the time that made you talkative, Mpok?” I asked, still unsure of the answer. “Those different forms, some are circumcised, and some are not?”
“That’s right, Mas Arif.” He answered with a laugh. “Anyway, after that dream, now I like to talk talkatively mentioning things… eh konci .”
I tried not to believe the answer, but it turned out that Yuli, her son, also had a similar dream, and made him talkative about mentioning male genitalia when he was shocked. If it’s one person, maybe I will feel that the story is made up, but if it’s already two people who have had dreams of meeting dicks and being talkative, why should I still not believe it?
For months, I thought about the story (the story, not the phallus), the story about a mysterious place with many phalluses of various shapes and sizes. Is there such a place? An unanswered thing, until one day, I visited a village that might be the place where Ani and Yuli woke up in their dreams.
A small village in Bhutan called Sobsokha, or better known as Chimi Lhakhang Village.
There was no welcome monument, signboard, or billboard for the election of the village head with the candidate smiling happily at the place we visited that afternoon. A dusty, slightly rocky, and unpaved dirt road welcomed us into the village, with a terraced house on the left side – which stood in a row with other houses, along with a souvenir shop that was ready to close across from it. Even though it was still four o’clock in the afternoon, it was the beginning of winter, which meant that night would come early. In the distance, several small children can be seen playing happily with their dogs.
At first glance, the house and shop looked ordinary, only a terraced house with wooden stairs outside and peeling walls and a gift shop with merchandise arranged on the terrace. But what makes it different are the paintings on the walls of the house, as well as the kinds of merchandise sold at the shop opposite. On the walls of the house, there are phallus paintings the size of an adult (the phallus paintings are the size of an adult, not just the size of an adult phallus), while the shop sells a variety of phallic-shaped souvenirs, ranging from fridge magnets, paintings, to decorative displays. comfortable grip.
(((COMFORTABLE HANDS)))
Even though they are both phallic, the paintings on the walls of the houses there are different in shape, some are red with hairy seeds, some are pinkish-purple with a slanted eyed palcon (slang for the head of the penis, an abbreviation for the head of the penis). ) who smiled spoiledly, there was also a blue one with a fluid of pleasure gushing out from the tip of the phallus.
Our group consisted of 20 people, with me as a Whatravel trip buddy accompanying 16 Bhutan trip participants along with three more local guides who were originally from Bhutan. That afternoon, it wasn’t really our schedule to stop by Chimi Lhakhang Village, but because there was still enough time and indeed this location was passed on the way to the inn in Punakha, I asked Phurba Dhorji who has the nickname ‘Sha’ to stop here for a moment.
“So, what’s the stories behind those phallus paintings?” I pointed to one of the largest phallic paintings there, although I was a little embarrassed by the size. “ Why people here, like to draw phallus? “
Yes, it’s like there’s nothing more artsy to paint. Okay, visually, the penis is more attractive than the vagina, although functionally, the two will complement each other to provide pleasure. But why paint a phallus?
“Well, the paintings are not happen to be here accidentally.” Sha menjelaskan. “The story was started in 15-16th century, when someone named Drukpa Kunley, or people call here as The Divine Madman came to Bhutan.“
After making sure the group of mothers were safe at the gift shop, I walked around the village with Sha listening to a bit of her story.
[DISCLAIMER: The story about Drukpa Kunley in this article is based on conversations with local residents and from the book The Divine Madman: The Sublime Life and Songs of Drukpa Kunley translated by Keith Dowman. There is no intention to discredit any particular party]
Once upon a time long ago, there was a magic mandraguna monk named Drukpa Kunley who came from Tibet. Kunley who has dedicated his life to Buddha, intends to spread his teachings, but is confused about where to go.
In the past, technology wasn’t as advanced as it is now, so Kunley couldn’t ask the audience , call 911, or ask questions through the question feature on Instagram Stories. One day, while Kunley was spending the night at Lady Semzangmo’s house in Nagkatse, Yamdrok, Tibet, he dreamed that he was visited by a woman in yellow who was not Christina Aryani. The woman carries a sword that emits fire even though it’s not Melisandre. In her dream, the woman said “Hi Kunley (which is not Kunley, no hi), now is the time for you to fulfill your calling, to spread the teachings of Buddha. In the morning tomorrow, shoot an arrow to the south, and follow the direction of the arrow. There, you will spread His teachings, and establish a family to continue the spread of those teachings.”
After saying that, the woman disappeared, and Kunley awoke without getting wet in his pants. The next day, Kunley shot an arrow into the air – to the south. “Fly my arrows, and land on the blessed land, where the beautiful woman who incarnates heaven lives.” He exclaimed. Hopefully the arrows don’t land in Guns N’ Roses’ version of Paradise City.
Quickly, the arrow flew through the sky, and made a sky-shaking sound – like the roar of a dragon that didn’t belong to Daenerys, thus making people around each other ask each other why dragons appear in winter, when they should only appear when there is a lion dance.
On the roof of a house, the arrow landed and caused a small earthquake there. Specifically, at the house belonging to Topa Tsewong, a rich man who lives in the highlands of Topa Silung, Bhutan. A bad feeling had hit Tsewong’s young wife after seeing the arrow, but Tsewong calmed her down by saying “There’s no need to think badly, this is not a bad omen , but a sign that a child will come for us.” he said. “Now wash your hands, and bring the arrow into the house.”
The woman then wrapped the arrow in a white cloth, pulled it out easily (previously Tsewong had tried to pull it out but failed, lost to Baru Klinting), and placed it on an altar in the house.
“ So, what happened next? I waited for Sha to continue his story. “ Did Drukpa Kunley come to Bhutan after that? ”
“Of course, he came.” Sha menegaskan. “He followed the arrow to Bhutan.”
The story after that is Drukpa Kunley came to Bhutan, by following the direction where his magic arrow landed, then spread the religion there. Just like that? No my friend, there is a story about Topa Tsewong’s life that you need to know too.
Long story short, Kunley arrived at Tsewong’s house in the summer. At that time, he needed to pee, and did it on the wall of Tsewong’s house. While urinating, the local kids appeared and saw how big Kunley’s phallus was. “Look at that jumbo dick, those seeds are huge!” They exclaimed. However, instead of being embarrassed and closing his garage, Kunley instead sang to them, which in English, went something like this.
“In blue cuckoo summertime, your cock is long and your balls hang low.
In the purple stag wintertime, the head of your penis grows long.
Throughout the year it’s a long hungry beast,
but that is the difference between summer and winter!”
Afterwards, Kunley enters the house, and asks Tsewong about his arrows. Tsewong confirmed the question, and invited Kunley to stay the night. When he entered the house, the corner of Kunley’s eyes immediately fell on the woman in the house. Her name is Palzang Buti, the wife of Tsewong.
Paying no heed to the male owner of the house, Kunley immediately seduced Palzang Buti with his singing.
“The arrow has certainly not gone astray,since it has led me to this voluptuous goddess.
Tsewong, mine host, please leave us,
I must lay this lady this instant.”
“Wait.” I stopped Sha’s story for a moment. “Kunley is a monk, right?”
“Yes.”
“And he wanted to lay that lady?” I tried not to misinterpret the story, because I was imagining things that would never happen in the life of Drukpa Kunley the monk.
“Yes, yes. He was a monk.” Sha sedikit terkekeh. “But he were teaching Buddhism in different method. Shocking method.”
“Wait, whaaat?“
“He liked to tell crazy jokes.” Sha menjabarkan istilah crazy dengan kode tanda kutip. “He liked to tease ladies, approach them, and even seduce them! He even did that to her mother!“
I shook my head, thinking, it turns out that Drukpa Kunley’s life is fun too. Spread religion, but while having fun in life. YOLO, BANG KUNLEY!
